At times it may feel as if you are falling apart. While at other times… somehow you are holding it all together. Only to fall apart once again. Together, apart, together, apart: these are the golden arrows in the quiver of the beloved, her consecrated tools of primordial integration. But you can never truly ‘fall apart,’ because you were never ‘together’ to begin with. What you are is beyond all that.
If you remain too identified with ‘falling apart,’ you disintegrate. You lose contact with the radiance within you. And become misattuned to the unfolding of your somatic experience, which is the movement of pure, luminous wisdom. You forget how intelligent and creative it is inside you, that your body and your nervous system are crafted of the stars, and that you are never, ever in need of fixing. You forget that the darkness, when provided sanctuary, is brighter than a thousand suns inside you.
But if you remain too identified with ‘holding it all together,’ you abandon your sacred vulnerability, disavow your untamed aliveness and spontaneity, and turn from the wild reality that your heart could break at any moment. You forget that it is through brokenness that your gifts pour into this world, and that each crack in your heart is an illumined portal through which the poetry of your life will flow.
- Right in the middle of ‘falling apart’ and ‘holding it together’ is the secret place, is the mandala of the luminous middle path. Stay there. For it is there where the light and the dark are no longer two. It is here where the beloved dances inside you, spinning secrets of separation and union, so that a new fragrance of love may come into this world.