I’m building a Lighthouse!

I’m building a Lighthouse!
Pic 1 .. reflecting out!
Pic…2 .. through a small window
Pic 3, no view, but just as important……and for now a work in progress.

Pic 3

Isn’t that what we came here to do! Build our own Lighthouse

These are words I received years ago… except it was to be the title of a workshop I might run.

I might still run that workshop!

But for now…

I’m building that Lighthouse.

It’s personal….and in progress

And it’s professional.

I can help you to build your Lighthouse too!

If that resonates at all!

I ❤ love this a metaphor.

If you have ever been lucky enough to be inside a lighthouse and climbed all those stairs to top where the light is.

You will know the actual light, is small.

It’s all the reflectors, mirrors that do the work and allow the light to shine brightly for miles and miles.

Yes, its mostly as a warning to keep ships safe

But the Lighthouse I’m talking about here, is our personal lighthouse.

The place inside us where our light shines.

It’s that precious place inside we know and we nurture
and just sometimes we need the help of others to help it shine bright again!

Or get back to ventral vagal.

Or back to Self energy in IFS

Or just allow a wee bit more polish!

Quote – A candle looses nothing by lighting another candle. Author unknown.

Isn’t that what we came here to do!

Help each other shine!

There is magic in new beginings.

Just any old ordinary day and you begin to notice a feeling, a thought or a sensation, in your body.

That’s step one.

Step two is tuning into it.

That’s when the magic starts to flow…….when the magic flows, new things begin to happen.

Magic and new are a good combination don’t you think?

Let’s take a moment now and get in touch with that feeling, thought or sensation, imagine it as any colour and size that works for you right now.

It might be large and green ’cause your feeling good!


It might be small and red ’cause your feeling range is more compromised.

it’s all OK though.

My therapy dragon!

it’s all ok though as in that noticing, connecting and paying attention to those feelings, thoughts or sensations, you’ve caught it, named it, sat with it.

That’s the magic.

That’s the new.

You are begining your journey back to Self, you are untangling from it, managing it,responding to it, externalising it!

It’s magic, it’s new and it’s begining again in this precious moment.


#manageyouremotions #beyourownbestself



New Therapy space for face to face meetings

I am really excited to introduce my new Therapy Space.

I am also really excited to be able to offer face to face sessions again.

The Therapy Hut.

Is in a quiet, safe, private space in my back garden.

The pictures were taken in the evening sun, a warm welcome awaits.


I have since moved back indoors to work as the weather cools.

I have 2 private and confidential spaces set up see them below.

Upstairs Therapy room.

Reiki now available face to face.

I am really happy and excited to be begining to offer face to face Reiki sessions again from my home address. KY15, Fife Scotland.

Starting 12/04/2022

Reiki sessions can be booked by emailing me to start of with – Please provide your mobile number and I will follow up by text or phone or email, whatever you prefer to arrange a session.

Sessions are available on Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday. Currently Tuesday afternoon or Wednesdays have most availability. April 2022.

Covid pre-cautions –

I would prefer if you were able to take a lateral flow test before the appointment and I will do the same.

I will wipe down any surfaces and in particular the reiki bed and their will be freshly laundered covers on it.

I will wear a mask.

I am spacing my appointments out more and I will leave the windows of the Reiki room open.

Please do not attend if you feel unwell in any way, covid related or not.

Thank you.

Complex Trauma & Difficult Early Attachment.

This is an old website page here from 2012, now it’s a blog post.

Trauma can be big T or little t, it may also be known or unknown trauma, none is less significant.

Trauma comes under many guises and often goes alongside growing up with a difficult or disrupted early attachment to the parent/caregiver, meaning there were significant times in childhood when you were not seen, heard or acknowledged and you had difficult later life experiences too.

I like the term unmothered/parented children to describe this early disruption. Together they result in complex trauma that comes from a variety of sources.

Unfinished Business

I believe coming to therapy is about exploring our unfinished business. All our unresolved life experiences and our early attachment patterns are deeply etched in the neuroplasticity of our brains, it’s hard wired if you like.

These patterns repeat physiologically, as neurons that fire together wire together, resulting in how we are in present moment time and in the replaying of flashbacks, or unresolved issues or trauma as current somatic symptoms.

If our symptoms and these old patterns or ways of relating to others and the world are triggered, this is usually what drives us to seek help as life or part of our lives is out of balance and perhaps unmanageable. The good news is we can change the plasticity of the brain, by working together with what is currently presenting.

unfinished business, working with trauma, online.

Trauma – As well as being individual, it is now understood as generational and collective.

Short or Long Term Work
I understand that seeking professional help and sharing at this level is a powerful and courageous step to take. I very much respect the counselling/psychotherapeutic process and I will manage it in a calm and mindful manner. The work will unfold at its own pace and can either be short or long term to suit your needs.

I enjoy being creative in my approach and I use a variety of creative means, if appropriate, to enable clients to have better understanding of their current situation all of which helps get beneath the surface of the problem and allows meaning that is beyond words or from an early place in your history.

I have professional indemnity insurance which allows me to work online in private practice from my base here in Fife. I belong to National Counselling Society NCS as my professional member body and work to their code of ethics and practice. I attend regular CPD and have monthly supervision to support all of my work.

Abuse Trauma & Unmothered Children

From a page on my website- 2012.

I have copied this page here to the blog.

Those days I was operating from a mainly Counselling lense, with some Energy healing.

Toaday 10 years on I have completed IFS training and this is now the main model I offer to work with past events that were not resolved, or come down the generations.

I am also working via an energy healing lense and these can be combined if you so wish.

So I bring it here as a piece that is nostalgic, but also because it contains good information from my 20 plus years working as a Counsellor, which informs and underpins my current practice.

 I have a special interest in working with people who have experienced trauma, abuse and/or neglect as unmothered children. (unparented) As you are reading this now and have connected with the words/term, you may recognise  this as a part of yourself?  Perhaps its time to begin to explore that? I am happy to discuss this with you and explore it further.

Complex Trauma & Difficult Early Attachment
Are different words for the above. Trauma comes under many guises and often goes alongside growing up with a difficult or disrupted early attachment to the parent/caregiver, meaning there were significant times in childhood when you were not seen, heard or acknowledged ( whilst this is true, I find its subtle and not so subtle) and you had difficult later life experiences too. I like the term unmothered children to describe this early disruption. Together they result in complex trauma that comes from a variety of sources.

Which might result in you experiencing some of the following symptoms-

  • Depression
  • Suicidal Thoughts
  • Anger/Rage
  • Addictions
  • Domestic Violence
  • Childhood Abuse
  • Eating disorders
  • PTSD
  • mood swings
  • Obsessions
  • Difficulties in Relationships- work or home
  • Self Harm
  • Dissociation
  • Bullying
  • Trust Issues
Abuse, trauma, unmothered children.

Unmothered children is an emotive phrase. I first heard it via Dr. Clarisa Pinkola-Estes in her famous audio book called Warming the Stone Child.


On Warming the Stone Child, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés leads us past the gates of the conscious mind (where real time healing happens) to discover the unmothered child within. Along the way, this gifted storyteller and Jungian psychoanalyst instructs us about the psychology of abandonment in childhood, how it affects us in later life, and its curiously special gifts and powers. Drawing from many world cultures, Dr. Estés has gathered a collection of deep myths, fables, and fairy tales with the adult listener in mind. Her storytelling creates a compelling picture of the orphan figure through the ages, while helping us understand the meaning of preadolescent abandonment in our own lives. Spiced with wonderful storytelling, Warming The Stone Child is a unique listening experience with a practical edge. Highlights: Inuit fable of the Stone Child; symptoms of the adult “abandoned child”; the story of the Little Red Cap; English tale of the Stolen Woman Moon; the four types of abandonment; re-creating the inner mother, and much more.

Complex Trauma, from different sources

As different people we each have a unique experience of growing up. Unmothered children is a term I understand as growing up in a family where we did not have all of our needs met. There were significant times where we were not seen, heard or acknowledged and we had to adapt our true self to fit in. This unmothering is also known as developmental trauma or disrupted early  attachment. It often goes alongside childhood sexual abuse though not always. All of my training and practices give me the understanding, experience and tools to enable me to access the gates of the conscious mind and travel within. Beginning to unravel and make sense of past experiences and current symptoms.

Reasons why this happens

There are many reasons why this happens including growing up with domestic violence, parents using substances, alcohol, drugs, being part of large family, step family or lone parent family or living with a parent who has longstanding mental health issues such as depression/ anxiety. For whatever reason our parents- mothers, fathers/ primary care giver, were not able to be present enough of the time and engage enough, to enable the baby, child, young person to be truly seen, heard or acknowledged.

Epigenetics/Generational Trauma

Epigenetics – Trauma is also passed down through the generations in the genes, this is known as epigenetics. Passed from generation to generation, unconsciously. These traumas may appear as attachment patterns, ways of beings, different types of abuse, ptsd,complex trauma from a variety of sources.

Generational trauma and epigenetics are also thought to be linked to some the dakest moments in history, such as war, genocide, famines, slavery. This is beleived to result in an epigenetic imprint passed through the generations.

Generational Trauma in IFS this is known as a Legacy burden, and there are specific ways to work with this type of Trauma and help to heal it.

There are also Legacy heirlooms passed down through the generations- positive qualities and personal attribues.

Seeking Help

People generally find ways of managing their symptoms, some of these are harmfull and some are not. In IFS these are know as Managers and are either proactive or reactive ( Firefighters) People also generally, seek help when their current symptoms or way of life is unmanageable or unsustainable.

In choosing to come to therapy you now have the opportunity to begin to clear and heal these patterns of old, helping at the same time to heal and clear the generation trauma that it is.

Counselling & Psychotherapy and/or creative self expresion are safe ways for you to begin to unravel your story and history.

Working with the body and the somatic symptoms in a safe and gentle manner.

Trauma Definition by Matt Licata

Dear Reader, 

Trauma occurs when our capacity to process emotional, psychic, and somatic experience is overwhelmed.

In addition to this shattering of information processing, there is the lived reality of the missing Friend, resulting in an unendurable sense of aloneness.

Not only do we experience a flooding of unbearable images, feelings, and sensations, but at some basic level we’re alone with all that.

In my experience, it is this aloneness, in the end, that is so devastating to us as sensitive, relational human beings, with a nervous system that has been crafted for companionship.

As an act of mercy and compassion, we make the journey inside the neural network holding our unmetabolized shame, rage, terror, and grief. For it is within the center of that mandala where we will find the frozen, confused, and scared one who has become stuck in the time machine of trauma and lost in the disorganizing fields of implicit memory.

To behold the lost orphans of psyche and soma and listen, hold, feed, surround, and love them, so that they feel felt and understood, and more than anything help them to know that they are safe now, perhaps for the first time ever.

To bear witness to their untold story as it unfolds across verbal, somatic, and autonomic narratives:

“Yes, I hear you, I see you, I want to know you, hold you, care for you, listen to you. I will not forget you. I will not forsake you. You are allowed to be. You are no longer alone. It is okay now. You are safe. Even if you continue to shatter, I will collect the pieces within a holy vase.”

It is a reparative neural experience that unveils that sacred soothing, where the unmetabolized images, feelings, and sensations are taken into the sanctuary and placed on the altar in front of us. This holding allows the secret nutrients to be disclosed and for the scattered pieces to return to their rightful place within the larger ecology of being.

While understanding and insight can be supportive, it is right-brain immersion in fields of safety which fosters cellular restructuring.

The psyche will reassemble when it feels safe.

The body will reorganize when it feels safe.

Please be kind to yourself. It’s easy to forget how much we are asking of ourselves to heal, to transform, and to reverse billions of moments of intergenerational trauma and trance. 

Happy holidays to you all and wishing you many blessings from the Rocky Mountains. 

With love,

Matt Licata

You can sign up on Matt Licata’s s website for further such emails

I recieved this in an email a few days ago.

I am sharing it here as I do love Matt Licata’s writing and way with words.

It’s not one of my abilitites to write like this.

The reason for sharing it, is a/ because i love it and b/ it speaks to my soul.

It also reminds of the soulful work that is IFS.

And although this isn’t the IFS protocal- for me it’s a similar way of working.

Best wishes,


Ancesteral Teaching on Trauma

Ancesteral Teaching on Trauma. I am posting this post here, with reference from it’s original source.

I really enjoyed reading this post and I am sharing it here as I beleive it contains a lot of wisdom.

Trauma is more than what we have experienced as individuals, it is also generational and collective.

In Internal Family Systems it is possible to work with Trauma from these different sources.

Namaste, Maggie